|
Summarized
by Vicki Rackner
September 12, 2006 Introduction
Dr
Vicki Rackner is a
board-certified surgeon who
has devoted herself recently
to providing advice to
caregivers and their loved
ones. Here's the second of
several articles she has
written. Robert Griffith,
Editor.
Over
30 million Baby Boomers
provide countless hours of
assistance to elderly
parents at no charge. It is
estimated that, using
average hourly wages, the
total amount of this
uncompensated care is
comparable to the entire
Medicare budget. For the
estimated 7 million boomers
who provide long distance
care, actual out-of-pocket
expenses amount to almost
$5,000 per month. For
caregivers who have left, or
are considering leaving the
workforce to care for an
ailing parent, the costs are
even greater - over $650,000
in forfeited salaries,
benefits and pensions.
This
stark economic reality shows
only one dimension of the
price caregivers pay for
this act of love.
Caregivers
pay with losses that extend
well beyond their bank
accounts. They often forego
the activities that bring
joy and richness to their
lives, like meeting friends
for dinner, or going out to
the movies or taking family
vacations. They pay with
their time, the loss of
professional opportunities
and the erosion of personal
relationships that result in
isolation.
Sometimes,
otherwise healthy loved ones
need a short dose of care as
they recover from an acute
medical episode like a
broken leg. Usually,
however, loved ones are on a
path of steady decline with
cascading assistance needs.
Some caregivers sacrifice
large chunks of their own
lives as they help their
parents and other family
members and friends
peacefully make their
transitions. Caregivers can
pay with their own health
and well-being. In fact, we
have evidence that some
caregivers pay for their
acts of care with their very
lives.
You
can decrease the personal
and economic costs of
caregiving. This means
proactive planning rather
than reactive responding.
Planning saves money. You
know this as you reflect
upon your experiences of
going to the grocery store
with and without a shopping
list. Planning also
minimizes personal wear and
tear and decreases stress.
You will feel much better
when you know your options
and develop back-up plans
before you jump into a
challenging project.
Five
Tips to Decrease the Cost of
Caregiving
1.
Begin the conversation
today. We have
tremendous cultural
resistance to the
recognition of aging,
disability and death. Just
as the first few steps
uphill are the hardest, so,
too, you may meet the
greatest resistance simply
starting the conversation
about a parent's possible
need for care. Say today,
"Mom and Dad, it would
be great if you lived
forever, but the discovery
of the fountain of youth is
nowhere on the horizon. What
thoughts and plans do you
have about enjoying your
golden years?"
2.
Create a plan. Talk
with your parents about
their ideal plan when they
are no longer able to care
for themselves. Then, start
to work towards that
proactively. Investigate
long-term care insurance.
Draw up the appropriate
legal documents. Find out
who would make medical
choices if they were not
able to make them on their
own, along with some guiding
principles for the choices.
You can anticipate and limit
parental resistance by
saying, "Mom and Dad, I
just got back from the
lawyer's office signing my
will and durable medical
power of attorney. I've
asked Mitch to make my
medical choices if I cannot
make them myself. Just so
you know, if I were in a
vegetative state, I wouldn't
want to be maintained on a
machine. You've probably
already planned ahead too,
right?"
3.
Use personal and community
resources. Make
caregiving a family job to
which each member
contributes. Even children
can make grandma's life
special with drawings and
phone calls. Identify
services that make your job
as a caregiver easier. If
you and your parents live in
the same community, check
with friends and neighbors
and local organizations to
learn about services and
resources that will make
your job easier. You say,
"Mom has just moved in
with us, and she wants to
'find a card game with the
girls.' Do you know of any
senior centers that have
social events? How about
transportation?"
We're
a mobile society and
millions of caregivers live
more than an hour away from
their parents. Executive
William Gillis learned from
his own personal experience
how challenging it is to
identify community resources
from afar. As he was carving
the path that ultimately led
to his on-line portfolio
management service, he
became the caregiver for his
father. Talk about mixed
emotions! Professionally, he
was introducing a service
that let millions manage
their investments with one
click of a computer mouse.
Personally, he was investing
untold hours just to find
one bit of information to
help his dad."
As
with so many innovators, he
used his personal and
professional experience to
launch Parent Care (see
first link below), a service
that he wished would have
made his life as a
caregiver-at-a-distance
easier.
4.
Gather cost-savings tips.
This might mean something as
simple as ordering generic
medication or regularly
inquiring about senior
discounts. But, most cost
savings opportunities aren't
as obvious. Mr. Gillis
found, for example, that
some states will pay for
phones for hearing, visually
or mobility limited seniors
or fund home safety
improvements. He said,
"We've invested heavily
to locate time and money
saving resources that most
would have difficulty
finding. I made it a
personal mission to help
other caregivers avoid some
of the costs and frustration
I encountered." You
don't have to re-invent the
wheel. Tap into the
resources others have
collected.
5.
Take care of yourself.
You will be able to provide
the best care as a caregiver
when you're at your best.
Get good nutrition, enough
sleep and regular exercise.
Manage your stress and do a
little something every day
to nurture your soul.
Understand that you are at
increased risk for anxiety,
depression, and weakening
your immune system. Talk to
your doctor if you see
worrisome signs such as
problems sleeping, changes
in appetite or loss of
interest in activities you
enjoy.
Despite
the costs, most caregivers
say that they received much
more than they gave. Most
say they would do it again,
and many do. Sometimes the
question is not the personal
cost of caregiving; it's the
value that you bring to the
lives of others that matters
at the end. What personal
cost are you willing to pay
for the privilege of helping
those who welcomed you into
the world to enjoy their
golden years and travel the
road of illness with love
and dignity?
Want
more tips about caregiving?
Get your free report
"Caring for the
Caregiver" by emailing
Dr. Vicki Rackner today at
DrVicki@DrVicki.org
Source
- Vicki
Rackner MD. Dr. Vicki is
a board-certified
surgeon and Clinical
Instructor at the
University of Washington
School of Medicine, who
left the operating room
to help caregivers and
patients take the most
direct path from illness
to optimal health.
|
